A little note on friendships.
A little note on friendships.
When you're in school, your friends become your friends by convenience. You spend at least 6 hours of the day with them, 5 days a week. They're the same age as you, at the same stage of their lives as you, and they all live close to you.
You can pop round after school for tea and compare homework answers. You can knock on their door at the weekends and ask if they want to play outside. You can have sleepovers on a Friday night, dance around and dress up in each others clothes... followed by deep heart-to-hearts in the dark about which boys you fancy or which girl you suddenly don't like anymore because she turned up in the same outfit as you on non-uniform day.
And then you get older, and things change. You move cities, start new jobs or get new hobbies, and you make new friends. Friends who may be older than you or at different stages of their lives. Friends who come from different backgrounds or upbringings or have all of these different experiences to you. And it's incredible how much you can grow and learn from these new people in your life.
With these new 'adult friendships' however, comes the fact that you have to make a lot more effort to maintain them. You have to reach out and make plans weeks in advance to find a date that neither of your schedules clash. You may have to travel halfway across the country just to spend time with them and it's no longer a case of seeing them every day or just popping round for tea after school.
And then there was me. Stuck in the office for 12 hours a day, coming home and being way too exhausted to even think about going out on a Friday night anymore. Because of the nature of my job, I also had to quit dancing and so I lost touch with those friends, too. And my other closest friend, someone who I was unseperable from at one point, suddenly got a boyfriend and that was that. I was no-longer a priority for her and 6 years later, I think I've seen her a grand total of 4 times.
Thankfully, I started my blog shortly after, and it didn't take long (quite literally a week) before I met a blogger 'in real life' for the first time and we had the loveliest and most spontaneous afternoon together. After that, I made a real effort to chat to bloggers on Twitter and now, the girls that I see the most and now class to be some of the closest people I have are all bloggers, and I couldn't ask for better girls around me. But these friendships didn't just happen, it took time and effort from both sides for those relationships to blossom from simply 'I follow you on Twitter' to an actual friendship.
I think the friendships that you make in school are special in that way. They're the kind of relationships where you don't actually have to check in with them every week. You don't have to know what's going on with them all the time but you know that they're always there for you. You know that you could pick up the phone and talk to them or grab coffee after not seeing them for months and it'll be like you never left.
And sometimes I just find that so wonderful.
I've always tended to have lots of friends in lots of different places. Even growing up, I would have my school friends and dancing friends and gymnastic friends. Now, I have old school friends and work friends and blog friends and ex-work friends, and actually, I've always really loved that. Sometimes I wish that they could all meet - because who wouldn't love all of their loved ones in the same place? But then on the other hand, being a huge introvert I get very tired very easily spending time with big groups of people, so having friends who I see, often individually, is perfect for me.
There is no doubt about it that I wouldn't have survived London so far without my friends. The girls who have been there for me when I've been struggling the most - whether that's been picking up the phone and listening to me ramble on when I've been the most unhappy or stressed, simply asking me for coffee after work so I can vent and keep me distracted, or last minute plans to go to the theatre to cheer me up and we end up having the best time.
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