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To go with my head or to follow my heart?

To go with my head or to follow my heart?


To go with my head or to follow my heart?

Nearly a year ago, I was faced with what felt like to be one of the biggest decisions I've ever had to face. It was something that was unexpected, totally out of the blue and came with a huge life change that I'd never thought I'd have to make a decision on so quickly.

I spent every waking hour for nearly 2 weeks constantly going back and forth and changing my mind and ultimately, it came down to whether I wanted to go with my head or follow my heart.

I chatted it through and sought advice from the people closest to me and those that I trust the most, and they all sided with my head. And thinking about it, of course they would. Because it was a sensible decision and the obvious choice to make objectively, but then they couldn't feel all of the things that I was feeling in my heart.


The silly thing was that I was pretty much being offered everything that I wanted, and opportunities that I'd been dreaming about for a while. However, I just didn't feel ready. It felt like it was all happening too soon. It wasn't in my life plan for things to happen so quickly - it was all meant to happen a few years from now.

Which again, sounds ridiculous, doesn't it? 'Like Soph, why are you sad that things happened faster than you planned? Surely that's a good thing?!' And yes, of course it was! I was so happy and proud of myself to have even been offered these opportunities, but there was something deep down telling me that I wasn't ready for it all just yet.

Maybe it's just a huge ongoing case of imposter syndrome and doubting myself when really I should've had a little more confidence. But we're now 12 months on and I just don't feel happy like I did before. My heart is more than ever begging me to follow it while my head is struggling to keep me listening to it.


And so, I'm faced with a decision again as to which one I follow. I really want to follow my heart this time, as last time I went with my head it's only ended up in frustration, sadness and a lot of tears. But then again I'm the queen of overthinking and can't help but worry that I may regret not listening to what my head is trying to tell me, because your heart can change what it wants faster than your head, right?

At the end of the day, I need to start focussing on my happiness, rather than what is going to 'look' better to others. I realised the other day half of the conflicting thoughts in my head were to do with what other people would think, and that really is rather silly.

But then again, whatever I decide next could have just as much of a huge impact on my life and future as the last one, and that is the thing that's terrifying me and making this decision so hard.

Whatever I decide though, it will be the right decision, as long as I'm the one that makes it, right?


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