Finally learning to let go of the things I can’t control.
Learning to let go...
I have a friend who's always late. Like, always late. We can arrange to meet at 10am, 12pm, or 5pm, and I can guarantee she'll turn up at half past whatever the hour. I already know this but yet, each time we arrange a coffee date, I find myself getting all antsy when she texts me to tell me she's running behind schedule and asking myself frustratedly, 'why can't she just be on time for once?!'.
Similarly to the friend I had that used to bail all the time. We'd arrange dinner or weekend plans, and they'd text me a few hours before to cancel. And it used to really get to me.
About a year ago (christ), I wrote about how I'm very much a planner. I'm not very good at 'going with the flow', and when things and plans change last minute, I don't deal very well and it sends me into a bit of an anxious frenzy and I don't quite know what to do with myself.
Now I'm back to driving to work, some days I can be at work in an hour, and some days it can take me two. I've always hated traffic - it really is the most unproductive time in the whole world and I'd always get really annoyed and frustrated if I wasn't getting to where I needed to be at the time that I'd planned to be.
And then I realised... I literally can't do anything about it. I can't make all of the cars in front of me dissappear. Just the same as I could never make the trains and tubes run on time whilst I was in London. So why do I get all worked up and let it ruin my mood for the day?
With the exception of a few blips this week, I feel so much happier at the minute. There's one last hurdle that I need to get over before Christmas, but part of me just wants it to be done and over with already so that I can really start moving on after quite the chapter of my life this year.
I've been re-reading The Secret and attempting to really put those learnings into action, and my god it works. Little positive affirmations to yourself in the morning can do wonders, and letting go of these negative thoughts and feelings and popping yourself back on a positive 'frequency' seems to be really helping.