Sophie Rosie

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In defence of; outgrowing friendships.

In defence of; outgrowing friendships.

 If there's one thing that I'm good at, it's recalling things from memory. I can tell you the number plate of my parents car that they had 15 years ago. I can recite all 16 digits, the expiry date and CSV number on my old, old debit card that I cut up and threw away in 2012. And I can probably give you the date that we first met ( this is a weird one, but I somehow seem to be able to do it ) with most people in my life.  And so I'm also able remember a lot of conversations that I used to have with my Mum when I was younger. One in particular, was in relation to friendships. I was asking my Mum how she'd first met all of her friends, and was pretty shocked to learn that none of them were from school.  She explained how sometimes,  you just grow out of friendships. That your lives take different paths, you all change as you grow up and you strive for different things and you grow apart. But then how you make new friends. New friends who are much more 'you'. Who get you and have more similar interests to you. She told me that I'd meet new friends at work or doing my hobbies or whatever I choose to do, and that my friends I had then, at 13, may not be my friends forever, but that it would totally normal and okay.

If there's one thing that I'm good at, it's recalling things from memory. I can tell you the number plate of my parents car that they had 15 years ago. I can recite all 16 digits, the expiry date and CSV number on my old, old debit card that I cut up and threw away in 2012. And I can probably give you the date that we first met (this is a weird one, but I somehow seem to be able to do it) with most people in my life.

And so I'm also able remember a lot of conversations that I used to have with my Mum when I was younger. One in particular, was in relation to friendships. I was asking my Mum how she'd first met all of her friends, and was pretty shocked to learn that none of them were from school.

She explained how sometimes, you just grow out of friendships. That your lives take different paths, you all change as you grow up and you strive for different things and you grow apart. But then how you make new friends. New friends who are much more 'you'. Who get you and have more similar interests to you. She told me that I'd meet new friends at work or doing my hobbies or whatever I choose to do, and that my friends I had then, at 13, may not be my friends forever, but that it would totally normal and okay.

Peggy Porschen Cake Shop London Christmas
Peggy Porschen Cake Shop London Christmas

Growing out of a friendship is natural, and sometimes, necessary.

13 year old me couldn't comprehend this at the time - all of my friends were from school. My life revolved around school with my school friends, and after school clubs with my school friends, sleepovers and cinema trips with my school friends - how could you ever not have these friends?

Lol at young, naive me.

It's safe to say that I've grown out of ~a lot~ of friendships since then. And not just with my school friends. There have been people who I met after that; at college or in previous jobs or through hobbies that I simply don't speak to anymore. It's not like anything bad happened or that anything ended on bad terms, we simply just grew out of that friendship.

 I mean, there will always be those people in your life who you meet and they'll be there forever. It's natural too, that there are friendships and relationships that may never fade and that can be the most beautiful thing - when you find someone who just gets you and is there for you through  everything.   However, we'll never stop growing as people - but with personal growth, comes a lot of outgrowing other things. Outgrowing jobs or cities or interests, and so surely it's only natural to outgrow some friendships, too? Sometimes, you do just grow apart. Circumstances change or you both change or what you want changes and that friendship may just not give either of you anything anymore - and that's totally okay and happens all of the time.  And sometimes, sometimes it's necessary to outgrow a friendship. We all know that some friendships can be toxic. That some relationships can do more harm than good, and sometimes it's necessary for your mental health and happiness to leave a friendship behind.  I'm a firm believer that you meet everyone for a reason, and so even if someone is only in your life for a few months or years, it will never be wasted time. I always try and look for the lesson or reason that I met that person, because there always will be one.

I mean, there will always be those people in your life who you meet and they'll be there forever. It's natural too, that there are friendships and relationships that may never fade and that can be the most beautiful thing - when you find someone who just gets you and is there for you through everything.

However, we'll never stop growing as people - but with personal growth, comes a lot of outgrowing other things. Outgrowing jobs or cities or interests, and so surely it's only natural to outgrow some friendships, too? Sometimes, you do just grow apart. Circumstances change or you both change or what you want changes and that friendship may just not give either of you anything anymore - and that's totally okay and happens all of the time.

And sometimes, sometimes it's necessary to outgrow a friendship. We all know that some friendships can be toxic. That some relationships can do more harm than good, and sometimes it's necessary for your mental health and happiness to leave a friendship behind.

I'm a firm believer that you meet everyone for a reason, and so even if someone is only in your life for a few months or years, it will never be wasted time. I always try and look for the lesson or reason that I met that person, because there always will be one.

What are your thoughts on outgrowing friendships?

Soph

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