Sophie Rosie

Hello, you.

Welcome to my blog. I write about life, career & work, fashion & style, as well as hopefully providing some inspiration to achieve some of your goals too! Enjoy xx

A confidence crisis & remembering that everything is temporary.

A confidence crisis & remembering that everything is temporary.

I'm having a bit of a confidence crisis right now and I'm not entirely sure how to handle it. A lot has changed in the last few months, and for someone that doesn't like change... it isn't going too well. I'm pretty much having daily breakdowns, usually ending with me crying on the phone to my best friend with the thing that pushed me over the edge being something really silly, like getting lost in Covent Garden trying to find a particular sandwich shop on my lunch break and being too stubborn and sulking too much to whip out Google maps because THE SHOP SHOULD BE HERE AND WHY ISN'T IT AND I HATE LONDON AND ITS HUGENESS AND I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS ANYMORE. (I wish I was kidding when I say this conversation actually happened.) It's safe to say that it's taking me a little while to settle into London life. It's a huge culture shift from living in the north, there's a lot to get used to, and I'm missing everything about Liverpool a lot. 

I'm having a bit of a confidence crisis right now and I'm not entirely sure how to handle it. A lot has changed in the last few months, and for someone that doesn't like change... it isn't going too well. I'm pretty much having daily breakdowns, usually ending with me crying on the phone to my best friend with the thing that pushed me over the edge being something really silly, like getting lost in Covent Garden trying to find a particular sandwich shop on my lunch break and being too stubborn and sulking too much to whip out Google maps because THE SHOP SHOULD BE HERE AND WHY ISN'T IT AND I HATE LONDON AND ITS HUGENESS AND I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS ANYMORE. (I wish I was kidding when I say this conversation actually happened.)

It's safe to say that it's taking me a little while to settle into London life. It's a huge culture shift from living in the north, there's a lot to get used to, and I'm missing everything about Liverpool a lot. 

Kensington Palace

I was comfortable in Liverpool.

I loved the city, I knew where everything was and I had my favourite little spots that were familiar to me. I had a routine that suited me perfectly, I loved my job and I'd gotten to a point where I was so happy and having the best time.

It took me weeks to convince myself that London was the right choice. Everyone around me was telling me that I had to do this and I was just willing one person to tell me to stay and I would've. However, the opportunity was one that even I knew would've been very silly to turn down.

So, after a lot of tears, weeks of constantly changing my mind and staring at my 'Take chances and only regret the things you didn't do' quote that I had above my bed... that was that; contracts were signed, plans were made and dates were decided. I was moving to London and starting a new job, which was a promotion too, all rolled into one. We're now 4 months in, and it's all getting a bit much. My commute into central is horrible, meaning I get into work every morning silently seething at how dick-ish people can be on the trains and the tube. I miss Liverpool and my family (and our dog, Jake!) a lot. I made a bit of a mistake at work and now my confidence is gone. I cry everyday. I've been ill and tired and run down for about a month now and I just wish I could fight it off already. I don't have time to blog anymore, and when I do, I can't seem to write anything even half-decent. My skin is constantly breaking out from the stress, everything is draining all of the time and I'm at a point where I'm seriously wishing and wondering if I could've stayed where I was.

So, after a lot of tears, weeks of constantly changing my mind and staring at my 'Take chances and only regret the things you didn't do' quote that I had above my bed... that was that; contracts were signed, plans were made and dates were decided. I was moving to London and starting a new job, which was a promotion too, all rolled into one.

We're now 4 months in, and it's all getting a bit much. My commute into central is horrible, meaning I get into work every morning silently seething at how dick-ish people can be on the trains and the tube. I miss Liverpool and my family (and our dog, Jake!) a lot. I made a bit of a mistake at work and now my confidence is gone. I cry everyday. I've been ill and tired and run down for about a month now and I just wish I could fight it off already. I don't have time to blog anymore, and when I do, I can't seem to write anything even half-decent. My skin is constantly breaking out from the stress, everything is draining all of the time and I'm at a point where I'm seriously wishing and wondering if I could've stayed where I was.

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Nothing is permanent.

If there's one thing that the last few months has made me realise though, it's how genuinely wonderful the people in my life are. From the poor friend who gets, and puts up with, my daily 'I can't do this!' phone calls, to the friend who will always take me for coffee and breakfast when she knows I need a pep talk (and gives the best ones!), and the old friend from home reminding me how far I've come and to stop being so hard on myself, my support network is the best. 

And the one thing they all keep reminding me of too, is that literally nothing in life is permanent. Things change all of the time, and we also have the ability to change anything that we're not happy with if we want to, too. 

So for now, I'm going to try and push on the best that I can. I'm going to focus on the things that I'm loving the most about London; which are my weekends, exploring all of the pretty new places, and getting to meet lots of my blogging pals for brunch and coffee dates now that I'm so much closer to all of them.  I'm going to try and settle into my new routine and give it my best go. And, if after another 6 months I want to change things again, there's absolutely nothing stopping me, right?

So for now, I'm going to try and push on the best that I can. I'm going to focus on the things that I'm loving the most about London; which are my weekends, exploring all of the pretty new places, and getting to meet lots of my blogging pals for brunch and coffee dates now that I'm so much closer to all of them. 

I'm going to try and settle into my new routine and give it my best go. And, if after another 6 months I want to change things again, there's absolutely nothing stopping me, right?

Soph

x

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