Sophie Rosie

Hello, you.

Welcome to my blog. I write about life, career & work, fashion & style, as well as hopefully providing some inspiration to achieve some of your goals too! Enjoy xx

I'm a 'planner' & I don't know how to cope when things change.

I'm a 'planner' & I don't know how to cope when things change.

I am most definitely what I would call a 'planner'. I have been ever since I can remember. I like to have plans, I like to have things and details planned out in advance, and I'm certainly not one of those gals that can just get up and go do something spontaneously or arrange to meet someone and just 'go with the flow'. This all may sound fine,  except for what happens when these plans change, particularly at the last minute. It's like my brain can't cope with the change and it sends me into full-on anxious mode. I don't know what to do with myself. I can't just go and do something else... because in my head I'd had it all planned that the first plan was going to happen, and I just don't know how to cope when that doesn't happen. Does that even make sense? It's actually really hard to explain how it feels. Obviously, it's always shitty when someone cancels at the last minute, but if, like me, you look forward to doing things, you get your heart set on seeing your friends and having a nice time, and then all of a sudden you're left with no plans and on your own... well, it really does throw me off everything.

I am most definitely what I would call a 'planner'. I have been ever since I can remember. I like to have plans, I like to have things and details planned out in advance, and I'm certainly not one of those gals that can just get up and go do something spontaneously or arrange to meet someone and just 'go with the flow'.

This all may sound fine,  except for what happens when these plans change, particularly at the last minute. It's like my brain can't cope with the change and it sends me into full-on anxious mode. I don't know what to do with myself. I can't just go and do something else... because in my head I'd had it all planned that the first plan was going to happen, and I just don't know how to cope when that doesn't happen. Does that even make sense?

It's actually really hard to explain how it feels. Obviously, it's always shitty when someone cancels at the last minute, but if, like me, you look forward to doing things, you get your heart set on seeing your friends and having a nice time, and then all of a sudden you're left with no plans and on your own... well, it really does throw me off everything.

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These photo's were taken on one of these days. They were purposely taken from afar, and with my face hidden in half of them because I'd cried all of my make-up off by this point. It may look like I'm smiling, but I can tell that this is not my usual, happy-self smile. It was forced for the camera because, in typical blogger style, I didn't want to waste being in such an Instagramable location. Why? Because my plans had gone from being all day, to just a few hours. I'd been looking forward to this day for a while, and then all of a sudden, it wasn't happening anymore. The plans we had, were literally impossible to fit into the few hours we had left, and it was like I just didn't know how to cope with this realisation. Most people would just rearrange, right? Not me. Yes, I was sad for a number of reasons, but all of these ridiculous and anxious thoughts just filled my head and I became very overwhelmed. 'What if I never get this chance again? What if I never have a whole day to spend in Liverpool again and this was the only time we could've done this and now we won't be able to? What if things have changed because I did something wrong? What if I've ruined our friendship and they don't want to see me anymore? What if they're trying to distance themselves all of a sudden and that's why they've cancelled?' Lol. All of these are ridiculous, and I know that. Well, I know that now. But at the time, these were all very real thoughts that literally ruined my whole day.

These photo's were taken on one of these days. They were purposely taken from afar, and with my face hidden in half of them because I'd cried all of my make-up off by this point. It may look like I'm smiling, but I can tell that this is not my usual, happy-self smile. It was forced for the camera because, in typical blogger style, I didn't want to waste being in such an Instagramable location.

Why? Because my plans had gone from being all day, to just a few hours. I'd been looking forward to this day for a while, and then all of a sudden, it wasn't happening anymore. The plans we had, were literally impossible to fit into the few hours we had left, and it was like I just didn't know how to cope with this realisation. Most people would just rearrange, right? Not me. Yes, I was sad for a number of reasons, but all of these ridiculous and anxious thoughts just filled my head and I became very overwhelmed.

'What if I never get this chance again? What if I never have a whole day to spend in Liverpool again and this was the only time we could've done this and now we won't be able to? What if things have changed because I did something wrong? What if I've ruined our friendship and they don't want to see me anymore? What if they're trying to distance themselves all of a sudden and that's why they've cancelled?'

Lol. All of these are ridiculous, and I know that. Well, I know that now. But at the time, these were all very real thoughts that literally ruined my whole day.

Are you like me? Or are you okay when plans change last minute?

Soph

x

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