When is it 'too soon' to have sex with someone new?

S P O I L E R

It's only 'too soon' if ~you~ feel it is.

Guys and gals, if you want to have sex with someone, have sex with someone. As long as you both want to do it, as long as you feel safe and comfortable and as long as neither of you feel pressured by the other (and as long as do it safely and responsibly, obvs), I literally see no reason why you should feel like you shouldn't, and it really annoys me that it's us girls in particular, that are often made to feel bad for admitting to wanting to have sex with someone new. 


This little thought train all started with an episode of Love Island. Montana had exclaimed to Camilla that she'd normally wait 7 months before sleeping with someone, and they were discussing how things move quicker in the villa compared to what they'd normally do on the outside. And it really got to me. They were talking as if doing anything with someone new in the first few weeks/months was terrible and out of the question and omg why would you do that?

Well, here's a few reasons why you are more than entitled to do just that;
  • You like the other person.
  • You feel sexually attracted to them.
  • You both want to do it.
  • You feel safe.
  • You feel comfortable.
  • You realise it's 2017 & you don't need to stick to made-up dating rules and you're allowed to do whatever you want to.

Obviously, this works the other way round, too. If you don't want to have sex with someone, please don't have sex with them, and never feel like you have to do anything with anyone (and if anyone does make you feel like that? dump their ass, quickly). And we shouldn't make anyone feel bad for making this choice, either.

At the end of the day, we're all different, and so are all of our relationships. Sometimes it feels right to wait, and other times you just wanna rip their clothes off after date 2. Personally? I don't think that there's any right or wrong way to do it. 

Like I say, it's all down to you and your relationship, but I think it would be really fab if we could stop making girls feel bad for whichever decision they make. Does anyone else know what I mean?

Soph

12 comments

  1. Yasssss Soph! I totally agree with this. There is no right or wrong time to do anything in this world, and if you're both on the same page then what's the issue? xx

    Jessie | allthingsbeautiful-x

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    1. Ahh thanks Jessie. My thoughts exactly! I hope you're feeling better soon, lovely! xx

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  2. See this is why I love your blog! I think it's so important that people know it's okay to have sex whenever you want as long as it's consensual and safe. Definitely a post that needs to be shared!

    -Sophie xx
    Cherries & Perfume 

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    1. Sophie, thank you so much for this! i'm so glad you liked the post and agree! xx

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  3. I find it quite funny that in 2017 and in such a show as Love Island there would still be as old fashioned way of thinking about dating a new person and doing anything with them. Even if there is a general impression that woman is a slut if she starts instantly dating a new person and has sex with them, I think I look up to those women more than the ones who wonder what everybody else will say about what they're doing. I have respect for a woman who knows what she wants and goes for it when she wants it! :)

    Lii
    https://byliil.wordpress.com/

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  4. I completely agree with this post.

    It's irrelevant as to how much time is between meeting someone new and sleeping with someone new. At the end of the day, the only reason someone shouldn't is if they don't want to. That's the beauty of choice. If you're more comfortable waiting, then great, if you're comfortable and want to after a day, also great.

    Dating rules are such bull, I was actually reading an article about 'dating rules that should die' - this should be included for sure!

    Great post, Sophie.

    Paige | pagetwentyfour.co.uk

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  5. Love island definitely promoted a lot of discussion on sex and I think that's a really good thing. I'm of the same opinion as you, if you want to have sex with someone it doesnt matter how new they are in your life. Moreover, even if you did have a '7 month rule, there's no saying you couldnt break it if you really wanted to! Women are definitely pressured into having sex and then shamed when they concede which is a great injustice. Hopefully with more discussion like your blog post and like Love Island we can get rid of this stigma.

    Abigail Alice x

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  6. This was so good to read. I needed to hear this. I have zero resistance and i have jumped straight in on the first or second date because I just wanted to! Ive always felt kinda bad about it because of these 'rules' :( x

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  7. I couldn't agree more, its 2017 and you should be able to do what you want with your body - as long as its safe, and both parties want it, then its all good right?! So glad to see a post about this, you go girl!

    Lucy | Forever September

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  8. Completely agree with this post! It should be when you feel ready and comfortable.. there shouldn't be any rules like have to wait for 'x' amount of time as every situation is different xx

    Ronnie // www.veronicabizzarri.com

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  9. a-fucking-men. if you wanna get ya rocks off - get ya fucking rocks off!

    katie. xx lacoconoire.com

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  10. You can poo on "made-up dating rules" if you want. They came about as away to make sure the person you're with and the relationship you have is stable and sustainable for reproduction. Will you care for each other? Can you support each other?
    Sure if you want a one night stand or want play the field. You have the freedom to. But in terms of building a lasting, loving relationship showing restraint is usually the best approach.

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