I'm not very good at dealing with change, & there's a ~lot~ of it heading my way.

Considering I'm in my early twenties, and this time of my life is meant to be the time of being young and carefree and going with the flow, I'm really quite terrible at dealing with change. And there's A LOT of it fast hurtling towards me and if I'm being honest, I'm terrified. I'm really not sure how I'm going to deal or react to it and every time I think about whats to come, it scares me.

I'm about to uproot everything I know and move south. I'm about to leave behind everything that's made me feel settled and safe and all of the routines that I have are about to change. The people in my life are about to change, too. People who currently live 2 minutes away are going to be 2 hours away. So popping round after work when I need cheering up isn't really going to be an option anymore, is it?

And it's this. This is what's scaring me the most.


I care very deeply about the people that I'm closest to, but I also depend on a lot of those people now when I'm feeling anxious or unhappy. I feel like this is a flaw of mine, and one that I never really wanted to admit. But when someone is able to calm you and lift your mood just by being in their company, it's hard not to crave this over and over again. I guess it's a pretty natural thing to feel, but when things are suddenly about to change and you realise that this isn't going to happen anymore, it's scary and overwhelming.

I know, I know. I'm moving to LONDON. I'll meet so many new people and make new friendships and there'll be so much to do that I'll love it. And I probably will. But I know that the transition period  is going to be so bloomin' hard that without wishing my life away, part of me just wants to fast forward to Christmas so that part will all be over and I don't have to feel all of the emotions.

I'm so sentimental, and when I have good things and people in my life I never want anything to change so that I can have them and appreciate them forever. But I know that this isn't realistic and I know that change is good. I also know that you're meant to do things that scare you and that they normally end up being the best things.

As you might be able to tell, I'm feeling very confused about everything right now. I'm feeling every possible emotion you could think of and I think it's one of the reasons why I feel so mentally exhausted, and why I'm getting very anxious and upset very easily over the smallest of things at the mo.


But, as I mentioned in my post last week, I'm trying this new thing of facing things head on and just handling it. So this is what I'm going to try my hardest to do. I've already jumped head first into this and my new boss has already noticed that I don't like to do things by halves. So I can't stop now.

I'm just hoping that this experience, and all of the change that is about to come, is going to make me stronger and more capable of dealing with things in the future. Because goodness, I already know I'm going to be crying A LOT over the next few months. I'm determined to make it worth it.

Soph

6 comments

  1. I kind of understand where you're coming from as last year I moved in a biggest city in my country for university hour and a half away from my home, family and friends. I definitely felt the homesickness and sadness. But I kind of get used to not being home as I had so many things I needed to do so I hadn't have time to think about that. I think that made coming home so much more special as I knew I didn't have much time I could spend with my family and friends. I really hope that you'll feel happier and excited for all the things coming in the future. x

    Antonia || Sweet Passions

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  2. Wishing you the best of luck! You're very brave to move so far away but I bet you will love it x

    LuxeStyle

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  3. Absolutely get how you feel Soph, I am also scared by change and starting new chapters. But you always know there is a brand new adventure ahead of you and it will be absolutely amazing I am certain :) The first few months will be a little rocky as you adjust, just know that your support network are all just a phone call or a train ride away when you need 'em :) Immy x

    www.immymay.com

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  4. Oh babe I totally feel for you! I made the exact same move last year from Chester to London away from my family and my best friends and my dogs and it was so difficult. My boyfriend broke up with me within my first few weeks of living here and it was SO hard not to just jack it all in and go back home but I'm so glad I didn't because I absolutely ADORE London now and couldn't imagine living anywhere else.

    Honestly this city will slowly but surely captivate you and draw you in and you'll be so glad you moved, plus you're moving in summer so you get to see the city at it's most beautiful before it starts getting all festive and exciting in September. Honestly I am BUZZING for another Christmas in the city and I'm so excited for you experiencing it for the first time.

    I know you don't know me well but I am always here if you need a chat or want someone to hang out with who's also a token Northerner and understands the real beauty of chips and gravy (most people down here seem to think that combo is a crime rather than sent from the Gods). Plus I'm always looking for a post work drinks companion so if you've ever had a shitty day let me know and we can drown our sorrows somewhere in Central. xxx

    LJLV | Luxury Meets Alternative

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  5. I know exactly how you're feeling because I'm the same way, but I'm more than confident that things will turn out perfectly for you! You always strike as somebody full of personality and confidence, so I have no doubt you'll make waves. And welcome to London! x

    Martha Jane | www.marthajaneedwards.com

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  6. Oh gosh, what a big move! It will be a scary time and going away from everything that's familiar to you will be daunting but as long as you look at this change in a positive way, I'm sure everything will slot into place. It will be an amazing experience, one which you won't ever forget and I bet it will be full of great memories that you'll be laughing about in the future with the friends you've made in London ��​ I hope it all goes well!

    Emma | Paper Planes and Caramel Waffles

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