I'm just tired.


It's only 10am and today has already not been my day. I've somehow misplaced my headphones so I couldn't listen to music on the tube, I've found a hole in my top that I only bought 2 weeks ago, a coffee date with a friend that I was v much looking forward to has been cancelled, so I'm now sat in a coffee shop by myself typing this instead. However, the trainee barista made my coffee practically cold (and I don't have the energy to go downstairs to get him to make another one), the wifi isn't working so who even knows if this, or any of my other posts are going to ever save, the Instagram algorithm is really getting on my tits now and oh, I've had about 4 breakdows about whether I'm doing the right thing or not, and I kinda just want to jump on the train and go home. Except I can't because I haven't been paid in over 6 weeks so I can't afford the train fare.

*breathe*

Do you know when things just all start getting on top of you, and then the smallest of things can make you break? Yeah, that. I'm just tired, right now. I'm physically and emotionally tired. I'm tired of feeling all over the place and I'm tired of feeling like I've lost myself a little. I'm tired of feeling alone over the last few weeks, I'm tired of things constantly going wrong and I'm tired of people not taking me seriously when I'm trying to tell them that I'm really struggling and need their help.

Maybe I'm being a little harsh here, becuase actually, I have a few amazing people that have really tried to lift me up and help me over the last week or so. And I'm very grateful to have those people right now. In fact, I'm not entirely sure what I would have done without them. But then, I'm about to lose one of these people very soon and I don't even know how I'm going to cope when that happens. So much so, that I'm just trying not to think about it because it hurts too much. 

Many of you tell me that you come to read my blog becuase it's always positive and uplifting. And I love that, and it's always been something that I've wanted to create. But I also made a promise that I'd always be honest and I'd always be 'real'. I'm sorry that this post isn't very positive and isn't very uplifting. But life isn't always easy and we all have days, weeks, or months when life isn't all happy and rosy. 

I'm not even entirely sure what the purpose of this post is, I guess I just needed to write to calm myself down. I hope you don't mind.

Soph

18 comments

  1. Days like this are the absolute worst, when everything just gets too much and it's overwhelming. But, it isn't like this every day and it definitely will get better soon! I really hope you do something lovely in the afternoon, stay strong gal! xo
    ps, I love your jumper its aahhmazing!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much, Zara! My day did get a little better in the end - and thanks! I can't wait for it to be cold enough for me to wear it again! x

      Delete
  2. We all experience days like this. From the moment you wake up you just know you're about to have a bad day. It's alright to give yourself a break away from everything. Meditate if you have to, I find it works very well for me. Tomorrow is full of beautiful promises to look forward to. A bad day will never make a bad life.

    www.underaytedray.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is a really lovely comment, thank you! And I always say I will try meditation, maybe I really should start! x

      Delete
  3. I understand this. I was diagnosed with depression three years ago and recently bipolar, and I understand days like this perfectly well. The highs happen but the lows do too, and all you can do is your best to wait it out until the low is over. It's okay to just switch off and take a step back and just do your own thing to help you deal with it better, you've got to look after yourself first and foremost :) as for positivity, I personally like that you've shared this - it's very real and that's something I feel some bloggers lose these days. Thank you so much xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Emilia! I totally agree about sometimes having to just wait it out. And thank you, I'm glad that it was worth sharing as I wasn't so sure! xx

      Delete
  4. Girl, you are simply amazing. I have discovered your blog a week ago and I don't think I have read anything so refreshing in a long time. I feel you so much on that one because I feel the exact same thing, it's like even though I love blogging and I feel like I have found what I truly love, exhaustion takes the worst out of you. Then it starts piling up and you feel like exploding but people don't understand the extent of that exhaustion. I love how real this was because that is exactly how I have been feeling during the past month. Seeing all happy and flamingo content on social media lately got me struggling even more because I have felt like I didn't have the strength to pretend anymore. Thank you for this. Keep being you and know that it is temporary, you will strength up <3

    http://www.persianbrunette.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, lovely! This comment actually nearly made me cry all over again! I'm so glad that you can relate and that it's not just me that feels like this sometimes. I hope things get better for you and you start feeling better, too xx

      Delete
  5. Sophie this sounds like my week last week, honestly the most stressed/ exhausting I have ever felt, I totally related to this post, and get why you just needed to get it all down in writing! I felt so much better after typing mine up, especially as a bit of an apology to my family for my awful mood. I hope you are feeling better, just remember you are doing great! xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ahh lovey! I am feeling a little better today, thank you. I hope you have a much better week this week, too! xx

      Delete
  6. Forget days like that my love, it's super hard to think of the positives when you're having a really sh1t time but just try and write down 3 things you're grateful for that day. Hope things are a little better for you today Sophie.

    Victoria x

    www.apartmentnumber4.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's a really lovely idea, Victoria! And thank you, yes - my days after were a lot better! :) x

      Delete
  7. It's so completely normal to have days like these, we're only human. We get stronger after these times. Remember to breathe, vent how you feel and be kind to yourself. Hope you're feeling better. You've got this! x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is very true, Natasha. And thank you! x

      Delete
  8. I can totally relate to this, and sometimes this is just how life goes sadly! Take some time out for yourself if you need it lovely, and let your mind and body rest - hope things start to perk up soon!

    Lucy | Forever September

    ReplyDelete
  9. Days like these really aren't the nicest but once we get through it, everything will be better. I had a rocky weekend/begging of the week and am debating publishing the post I wrote about it...
    Lea, xx
    http://asnippetoflife.com

    ReplyDelete
  10. I absolutely hate days/weeks like this but I guess all you can do is remind yourself that not everyday is like this and it will get better eventually! Take some time out if you need to and whatever you do just know that it can't be bad forever!

    Sweet Serendipity

    ReplyDelete
  11. Such an honest post Soph. Sometimes life just does get on top of you and it's so overwhelming and exhausting.

    When that feeling hits, it's like a total punch in the gut.

    Sending you all my love and cuddles!

    Love you xxxx

    ReplyDelete