What I wish someone had told me about sex and stuff.

What I wish someone had told me about sex and stuff.

I feel like I need to put a 16+ rating on this or something. I don't think I have very many younger readers, but this isn't a normal post for SophieRosie.com and lol, I don't want any angry Mum's sliding into my emails. So yeah, maybe not one for kids this one.

ANYWAY. The lovely people at Smile Makers asked if I would like to collaborate with them a few weeks ago, writing a post focusing on female sexual empowerment. Now, like I mentioned, this isn't a normal topic over here, but it's something that I've actually come (pardon the pun) to feel rather passionate about in the last 2 years or so, mainly thanks to one of my best friends (who will totally know who she is), who first taught me that enjoying sex and everything else is nothing to be ashamed of as a female.

I mean, why shouldn't we enjoy it as much as guys openly do? 

So, here is a list of things that I wish I'd known when I was younger. A little open letter to my younger self, I guess. 

1. You'll have your first orgasm by yourself. Not very many girls will get it from a partner first. Mainly because it feels weird to begin with, and kinda feels like you're about to piss yourself. But you won't. So just try and forget about that and relax.

2. OMG yes, relax. Please just relax and get out of your own head and enjoy the sex or whatever it is that's going on down there.

3. Get yourself a good vibrator and I absolutely promise you it'll be your best friend. It's the quickest way to get yourself to orgasm, and no, you won't become 'addicted' to it. (If you're looking for cute & female friendly massagers, check out these)

4. Female pleasure is not a bad thing, nor is it something to be ashamed of doing or admitting to doing. Trust me, EVERYONE is doing it and it's actually good for you.

5. If you want good sex, you're gonna need to know yourself first. The chances are, the first time you have sex with someone new, you're going to have to direct them a little, so if you don't know what works for you, they've got no chance!

6. I read something a few months ago that basically said; 'men are visual creatures, they like looking at sexy things and that's pretty much why they watch porn. It's usually as innocent as that'. Yes, this. Same goes for us ladies, too. Don't freak out about it. If you wanna watch it, watch it. It's not a big deal.

7. There's the saying; 'If you feel bad after sex, you're sleeping with the wrong person'. And trust me, this is 100% true.

8. The more you have sex and pleasure yourself, the more you want it. If you stop doing it for a little while, you'll forget just how good it feels.

9. Be the one to initiate sex, sometimes. It'll make him less worried that you're only doing it because he wants to, and it also makes you feel pretty great.

10. Stop being so bloomin' body conscious. If he's there and he's hard, he already bloody likes you so stop worrying and get on with it. ;)

11. We can do some wonderful things with our mouths in the bedroom, but letting each other know what you like, don't like, or if you want to stop, is the best thing they can do.


The Tennis Coach is a gentle G spot massager, and lets face it, is probably the cutest G spot massager you've ever seen. If you're familiar with Smile Makers, you'll know that all of their toys are super cute and pastel coloured, which together with the smiley face on the bottom of it makes for one of the prettiest sex toy collections I think I've ever seen.

If you're looking for discrete, I'd definitely recommend this, as it's definitely one of the quieter vibrators I've ever had my hands on. However, it's also not the most powerful, so I'd maybe try a different one if you generally need something with a bit more 'oomph' to get you over the edge.

Saying that, he has 4 speeds, he's fully waterproof and only needs one AAA battery, so he's pretty much good to go wherever, and whenever you need him!

What do you think? Is there anything else that you'd add to this list?


p.s Can we just talk about how pretty this lube bottle is? I genuinely thought it was perfume when I took it out of the box!

Items in this post may have been sent to me for feature as PR samples. For my full disclaimer, click here.


  1. I thought that was a bottle of perfume too haha! Fab post Sophie, girls shouldn't be ashamed - every time I think attitudes are changing something happens that seems to bring us back into the 19th century! x

    Sick Chick Chic

    1. Isn't it such a pretty bottle haha! Thank you, Josie. And I completely agree with you on that comment! I think we're making progress though, slowly! x

  2. WOW Sophie this post was amazing and really needed in the blogging community. A breath of fresh air and I agree with all the things you said. People feel shame around masturbating and female orgasms but it's great! also, that lube bottle is so pretty. -Georgia www.thebrightoner.com xxx

    1. Thank you, Georgia! I'm really glad you liked it :) They're most definitely great, haha! Thank you for reading :) xx

  3. I actually love this post and agree with everything you've said! Well done girl xx

    Sam // What I Know Now

  4. If you hadn't said that wasn't perfume then I never would've known haha! Seriously though, it's about time us women weren't ashamed of sex and had some empowerment!

    Jodie // jodieloue.com

  5. This post is awesome, Sophie. I really wish I could have read this when I was a little 17 year old! Thanks for being brave and writing yet another amazing post :)
    Steph x. Hello, Steph Blog

  6. I thought it was perfume or a body spray too! Definitely agree with you on number 1 and 3, I wish someone had been that honest with me at 15! xx

  7. Omg Soph... YAS! This is the kind of blog post I love to read! You little Sex Guru haha, you're fab! xxx

  8. Thought that was a perfume bottle as well! Or some kind of a face lotion so that's pretty hilarious...

    Love reading different and honest posts like this though, I get so sick of reading the same kinds of posts day in and day out.

    Julia // The Sunday Mode

  9. I thought it was a bottle of perfume too, if you didn't tell us, I wouldn't have known otherwise! Seriously, it's about time this kind of stuff was taught in schools and colleges or at least talked through with parents or something :) xx

    Yasmina | The July Journal

  10. I'm so glad I found your blog quite a few months ago Sophie :) Your content is so positive and honest, and this one especially is something many girls should read! I personally feel like younger girls would benefit from this as well even though in many families the topic of sex is a talk that is 'timed' as such. My mum was very open about every topic since forever and when I got to high school I was genuinely surprised at how little some people knew about sex. I think sex education is highly important and the more parents/schools hide it the less people know. (I've just gone back and read my comment and I realise my sentencing isn't the best sorry haha, but I think it makes sense).

    -Sophie xx || Cherries and Perfume

  11. Oh i could relate to so much you were saying haha.. love how open you are Rosie :)

    xx Lisa

  12. Lovely post - I think it's great when people can be so open and share their insights on this topic x

  13. This is such a great post. I totally agree with everything you've said and we really should be more open about sex as women!

    Lynnsay x

  14. I love reading posts like this, like yaas to empowering women! Its nice to see someone being open about sex toys, and just sex in general, I think thats so important. That lube bottle is ridiculously nice as well, honestly thought it was a perfume as well when I saw the photo haha!

    Lucy | Forever September

  15. Haha I also thought that was a bottle of perfume too! Very discrete. It's great to read posts like this. Some of the stuff you've mentioned can be so taboo!

    Emma xx / A Little Freckle

  16. Incredible post Sophie! Its not something that's spoken about enough in the blogging community and I think thats what makes it such a great post + everything you said is so true we should be more open about these topics!

    Aimee x

  17. Loved reading this and I don't come across posts like these often enough. It's so true that for us women talking about enjoying sex like this is pretty much taboo. Well done for such a well written post x

    Beauty with charm

  18. Lol yep #1 is so true! The porn debate is interesting too. I can't help being slightly jealous of my partner watching it when I'm not around but it's weird because I do it too..strange.


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  21. Brilliant post!!!