Sometimes, I just need my space.
From the second I was introduced to the concept of introverts vs extroverts, I knew that I was an introvert. Always have been most probably always will be. I was always told I needed to participate more in class, I avoid any shows where audience participation is a possibility (or I at least make sure I'm sat at the back!), I always like to sit at the end of a row; whether that be on the bus, on the train, or in the theatre, I have a constant internal monologue going on inside this little brain of mine, and going 'out out' is mentally exhausting for me after a few hours.
And also, I love having my space. A day spent on my own, in the flat, with copious amounts of tea and a book or my laptop, is absolutely one of my favourite ways to spend a day. And if I'm honest, it's kinda necessary for me every once in a while.
But this doesn't mean I am, or that I get lonely. Far, far from it.
Spending time alone is mine, and most probably every other introverts way of re-charging. If I've had a busy week of social activities and events, then I'll try and make sure the weekend is mine, to spend some time, well... with myself and my thoughts.
I'll often go quiet in large groups, and if I'm feeling overwhelmed, I'll probably head off a little earlier than most. Because I sometimes just get to a point and I just need my space. Especially if I'm with people that particularly drain me.
And see this, this is really hard to explain. I find some people are a lot more draining on my social battery than others. You'll find that I could spend hours and hours and hours in the company of my closest friends, being totally myself and have lovely and meaningful chats. Throw someone else in there and I could be totally done for and well, I'll then just need my space. It's not everyone though, I quite often meet people and I'm just comfortable with them. People who I could chat to for hours and never feel awkward or that I need to leave their company.
As a hobby, blogging was practically made for me. Writing and blogging is my outlet; I'm able to say things on here that I may struggle to explain to someone in person. Writing is something that I can do on my own, but I can also head to my favourite coffee shop and sit in a corner with a coffee and my laptop. Being around people but not actually having to interact if I don't want to, it's like an introverts bliss. But then, there are events and meet ups and there's the ability to create friendships too. It's the best of both worlds and I love it.
What I think I'm trying to say is that sometimes, I just need my space. I need to be alone for a little while and just be with...well, me. It's not because I'm trying to be anti-social or because I don't want to spend time with friends or family. I don't leave events or social gatherings early because I'm being miserable or grumpy. It all just sometimes gets a bit much and I need to be back in my own little safe place again for a while.
Do you guys know what I mean?