I've got another rambly life post for you guys! I was thinking the other day about my current situation, where I'm at, where I want to be, what I want to do and how the hell I'm going to get there. I haven't quite figured it out but it did get me thinking about what I've already done.
A lot of you probably won't know this, but I um, can be quite stubborn (thanks Dad). If I feel quite strongly about something, it will take a lot for me to back down on my thoughts. Now this doesn't mean that I'm one of those people that thinks I'm right and everyone else is wrong, far from it. I like to think that I'm really quite open when it comes to having an open mind and listening to others. But one of the main things about being a little bit stubborn, especially when paired with the fact that I can also be rather impatient, (according to Mum, this is why I was born 4 weeks early… I couldn't even wait then!) is that if there's something I decide I want, then I'll generally do what I can to go get it. Now, this can be anything from a new pair of shoes that I've seen that I want, a particular flat in a particular location, or things a little bit bigger.
When I was little, I used to always want to work in a shop. I remember 'playing shop' with my grandparents during the summers of primary school, and if anyone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, my answer would always be, 'shop-keeper'.
I'm quite glad to say that my life-aspirations have improved a little since I was 5 years old.
When I left high-school, like a lot of people I wanted a part-time job and to have my own money. And guess what, I got a job in a supermarket, and even though I wasn't always based on the tills, I covered them whenever the shop got busy. Every time I was covering them, I would always think back to when I was little, and it made me smile a little bit to think I went and did it. I was getting paid to work on a till! (…simple things, right?)
Do you know when you remember certain things quite vividly? Often rather random things, and when you think about them you just sit there and think, why on earth can I remember this? One of these moments in particular is when I used to walk to high school. There was three of us that all lived really close, and so for 5 years we walked the half an hour walk to and from school every day. It was one of those that I always think, goodness, how on earth did we always have stuff to talk about but I used to love it.
There was one lady that must have lived close to our school, and most days during the last few years we'd see her walking to work. She used to wear this dark skirt-suit with knee-high boots. While I was never a fan of the knee high boots, I remember me and H used to always say, I wanna be like her. I wanna have a city job where I get to wear a suit, and walk around the city in heels. Be a proper city girl.
Queue 2 years of college and some application processes later and I did it. I managed to get myself a job where for the last 3 years I've had to turn up in business dress (yes, that includes heels if I fancy it), I carry around my handbag and my work laptop, and get to work from a city centre office. I went and did it.
Now I have lots of other different things in my sights, and thinking back to what I've already done, has given me the motivation that I kinda so desperately needed to go and do them and not stop until I have.
Hopefully, things are going to start getting better, I'm trying to chase the things that are going to make me happier, and get rid of the things in life that are getting me down. I'm also still trying to look on the bright side of everything, but I think we all slip up at this sometimes.