Today I realised that I've not rambled on about life for a while, so I thought it was about time I did. I love writing these kind of posts. Sat with my Mac on my bed, candles lit, a cup of tea to hand and just being able to write down some of the many things that are flying about in my head. And that's a lot of things.
If anyone's been unfortunate enough to have me vent to them recently, you'll know that I'm at a little bit of a crossroads.. in life, with no clue which direction to take. I mention in my post, A Little Lost (here) that I feel, well, a little lost.
' I worry that I don't know where I'm going in life. That I don’t really know what I want to do, I'm not entirely sure what I want to have achieved by the time I'm too old to care.'
The fact that I wrote this over two months ago is really scary. Like, how are we in May already?! But I guess this just re-enforces to me what I want to chat about. I've probably said this way too many times already, but life really is too short.
I've had this thrown at me a few times recently, but one time in particular really made it sink in. I was casually people watching and I'd spotted a group of friends living in our 'older generation', shall we say. Listening to the conversation, their daily struggles, health problems, and actually, what they consider to be 'exciting' parts of their lives, I just thought out loud, 'I don't want to get old.' To which I received the response, 'Don't worry, you might not get there.' Thanks for that Aaron.
Every time he goes to work, there's a chance Aaron's going to see just this. People not being able to live their lives anymore. It could happen to any of us, at any time. I'm super guilty of worrying and stressing about stupid things that really, are not worth worrying about. A lot of us now have extremely busy lifestyles; going to work, trying to study, ensuring you keep yourself fit, keeping up with hobbies, making sure you have time to spend with family, while still trying to squeeze in time to socialise with your friends to keep ourselves sane. Oh, and trying to keep everyone around you happy in the process too. It can get crazy, pretty quick. So forgetting about what really are the important things can be easy. Especially when it's the important things that you tend to have less time for.
So, think about this. If you work full time, you're probably typically spending 5 out of your 7 days a week at work. Doing whatever it is you do to make a living, because let's face it, there's not many of us that could say we'd voluntarily do what we do, if we didn't have to, right? (If you're one of the lucky ones, love your job and would do it voluntarily.. you might wanna skip this next bit!) That's a massive part of your week, that will gradually turn into a massive part of your life over the years.
But really, is this more important than spending time with your friends or relatives? Are you going to look back, when you're approaching 90 and think, do you know what, I'm so glad I spent all that time on that work project? No. Are you going to think, actually, all that time I spent stressed was completely worth it? No. You're going to be remembering (at the risk of going all super cheesy) all the laughs you've had with your friends. The crazy and stupid things you've done that make for great stories over a few drinks. The lovely family gatherings you've had with those you haven't seen in months because of previously mentioned busy lifestyle. You're going to remember the times you were happiest and care-free.
So unless you know something's going to make you really happy at the end of it, I think we need to stop worrying about it. This is something else people try and shout at me too, what will worrying and stress actually do to help? Nothing. Zilch. Nadda.
If you get stressed, just stop, take a minute and think about what's actually going to happen if you don't quite meet that deadline, quite get the grade you wanted in an exam, or if something you want to say comes out a bit wrong. Unless someone's going to die, or get hurt, how important is it, really?
We grow up being taught how important it is to work hard to achieve what you want, but also to make sure we only do what we want. I think we forget this sometimes.
Life can be amazing, and beautiful, and crazy but it can also pass us by extremely quickly.
Do more of what makes you happy. This is definitely next on my to-do list.