A little lost.

Does anyone else ever talk to someone, and have them point things out about yourself that you never even realised? This seems to be happening quite a lot at the minute, like when I got asked if I was happy in a previous post, I've just been told I'm a little lost.

I don't mean geographically lost, although I'm pretty good at getting myself lost in that way too... rather frequently, actually. 

But no, I mean lost in myself. 

I'm quite a worrier. In fact it was one of my New Years Resolutions to worry less... it isn't going well.

I worry that I don't know where I'm going in life. That I don't really know what I want to do, I'm not entirely sure what I want to have achieved by the time I'm too old to care.

I feel a little bit like Alice in Wonderland, the bit where she's trying her very best to find her way home, but every direction she takes just makes her feel that ever more slightly lost. 

There are SO many different doors you could open, that could lead to a dead end. Or, you finally open one that seems to be leading somewhere, and then it's like life just says, nope. You ain't coming this way. Turn around and try another one!

Not that this is a bad thing, I mean, it gives us the chance to experience different things, try new stuff,  meet new people that ultimately makes us who we are. 

Which brings me back to being lost in myself. Do you remember in school, and you'd have those odd lessons in R.E or something, and you'd have to discuss questions like 'Who are you?'. I think most of us would automatically answer this by stating our name, along with lots of what we think are important facts about ourselves, for example,

I'm Sophie, I'm a trainee accountant, I'm 5'1 (just), I live in the city and my favourite colour is white.

In our heads I think we also think about what we have as possessions, what has happened to us in the past, or maybe what we dream about when our heads touch the pillow. 

But that's not really us. It doesn't define our personalities, or the way we go about our lives, or what influences the decisions we make. 

Has anyone ever heard of The Enneagram Types? Its rather an ancient way of categorising personality types, and it's purpose is to help you try and see yourself more clearly. 

Have look at this link, and see if you can figure out which type you are. I haven't figured out which one I am yet. There's bits of me in a few.

I'm quite a perfectionist, and I'm really hard on myself at times like Number Ones. 
I like to be reassured, I can relate to people easily but I find it hard to say no like Twos.
I'm sensitive, committed and hardworking, but I'm a worrier and have little confidence in myself at times like Sixes.
I'd like to think I'm non-judgemental and accepting, but confused about what I really want like Nines.

See, it's rather difficult! But I find this kind of thing super interesting! 

Life has it's way of throwing things at us that we weren't expecting.

I know that I never feel like I've got my life together, I can not wait until the day I do, if that day ever comes. But for now, change is inevitable, and while its making me feel a little lost, and my head's being pulled in about a hundred different directions, I'm starting to see change as a good thing. A way of getting myself to my end goal... not that I know what that goal is yet, but I'll figure it out. I hope!

I think we're all quite guilty of comparing ourselves to others. We look at other people, we hear their plans, we see what they have, and I quite often find myself asking, is that what I'm supposed to be doing? Is that what I'm supposed to want?

But its your life. Everything that happens, every relationship, friendship, event, decision and path we take has one common denominator, you. 

I'm still lost. And I probably will be for a while, but since 'you' is the only part of all that that we actually have any kind of control over, taking some time to figure ourselves out, figure out what we want, and where we want to end up, is a pretty good place to start. Don't you think?



  1. I loved reading this post as I can totally relate. It's so hard to figure out which direction you want to take with your life and being exposed to everyone else's life on social media looking all put together isn't helping that much either. But I'm sure we'll eventually figure it out one day :) xx

    1. Ahh thank you Sophie! That is so true, I think everyone else seems to know what they're doing and then you always feel a bit like, oh, maybe that should be me!
      We definitely will, I'm sure :) xx

  2. I really loved this post sweet, because it's exactly how I've been feeling recently! I feel so lost and just really wish I knew what I wanted to do and where to go - but then what is life without a journey? :) and even when we get to our destination, that journey is going to feel magical and meaningful and something we'll never forget - so we must live our journey to the fullest and keep our heads held high, because it will all work out in the end :)


    1. Oh thanks Hazel :) That's so well put! Life is definitely a journey x

  3. I love this! I'm in the exact same point at the moment and I'm also a fellow worrier. I try so hard to pick myself up and stay positive but my mind works over time and I get lost in my thoughts. Let's hope life will deliver and one day we'll just know exactly which path to take so we're not lost anymore.

    Awesome blog :)

    1. I'm so glad I'm not the only one that feels like this! I think life will definitely deliver eventually :)

      Oh thank you! :) x

  4. This is an awesome post because I think a lot of people are in the same boat, especially in our late teens and early twenties when all this freedom is suddenly dumped on us! It's hard to know what to do with it at times.

    That link is really interesting too! I'm definitely a one, with little bits of four and nine mixed in.

    LB x | thelittlebonesblog.co.uk

    1. It definitely seems like it doesn't it! Yeah exactly, it can be really scary as well!

      Haha that's interesting! x

  5. Brilliant post, so well written. I loved reading it :) I love your blog and I have followed you with Bloglovin. If you ever get a chance to check out my blog I would be delighted, thanks :)

    Camille xo


  6. This is a great post, especially because so many people can relate to it, myself included. I think what's comforting to know is that you can change something whenever you want to. If something isn't working or you're not happy, you can change it. I know I'm not where I'm supposed to be yet - but I don't even know where that is! But I'm tying to take the right steps along the way to get me there. And I'm sure you are too. Good luck with everything lovely :)

    Holly | http://abranchofholly.blogspot.co.uk/

    1. Thanks Holly! I didn't realise quite how many people felt the same when I was writing it!

      That is so true, we have control over a lot of things in our life, sometimes we don't quite realise it :)

      Hope everything works out for you as well lovely :) x

  7. I really enjoyed this post. I feel SO lost right now it's awful. The problem is I don't think anyone ever really know what they're doing, some people are just a lot better at pretending. I just had a look at the personality types (I love stuff like this) and definitely think I'm a mix of 5 and 6 for the most part. x

    1. I'm glad! No, I don't think we do at the minute! Ahh really? That's really interesting! x

  8. Really lovely post Sophie - I agree taking some time out is a great place to start. All the best to you figuring it all out :) Xx

  9. I don't think we ever really get our lives together, it's just a constant unknown and we've just got to keep going. I think the best way to feel less lost if to accept where you are right now, and live in that but still look to the future and plan. I feel confused and lost and unsure and alone far too much, it's a scary time, early 20s is tough for most people I think!
    Emma xxxxx
    Writing Essays With Wine

    1. That's a really good way of thinking about it Emma, I love hearing everyone's thoughts on things like this! x