SLIDER

When is it 'too soon' to have sex with someone new?

When is it 'too soon' to have sex with someone new?

S P O I L E R

It's only 'too soon' if ~you~ feel it is.

Guys and gals, if you want to have sex with someone, have sex with someone. As long as you both want to do it, as long as you feel safe and comfortable and as long as neither of you feel pressured by the other (and as long as do it safely and responsibly, obvs), I literally see no reason why you should feel like you shouldn't, and it really annoys me that it's us girls in particular, that are often made to feel bad for admitting to wanting to have sex with someone new. 


This little thought train all started with an episode of Love Island. Montana had exclaimed to Camilla that she'd normally wait 7 months before sleeping with someone, and they were discussing how things move quicker in the villa compared to what they'd normally do on the outside. And it really got to me. They were talking as if doing anything with someone new in the first few weeks/months was terrible and out of the question and omg why would you do that?

Well, here's a few reasons why you are more than entitled to do just that;
  • You like the other person.
  • You feel sexually attracted to them.
  • You both want to do it.
  • You feel safe.
  • You feel comfortable.
  • You realise it's 2017 & you don't need to stick to made-up dating rules and you're allowed to do whatever you want to.

Obviously, this works the other way round, too. If you don't want to have sex with someone, please don't have sex with them, and never feel like you have to do anything with anyone (and if anyone does make you feel like that? dump their ass, quickly). And we shouldn't make anyone feel bad for making this choice, either.

At the end of the day, we're all different, and so are all of our relationships. Sometimes it feels right to wait, and other times you just wanna rip their clothes off after date 2. Personally? I don't think that there's any right or wrong way to do it. 

Like I say, it's all down to you and your relationship, but I think it would be really fab if we could stop making girls feel bad for whichever decision they make. Does anyone else know what I mean?

Soph

Investing in the basics.

Investing in the basics.

I've always loved the idea of creating a simple, staple wardrobe - but I've always thought that I'd never be able to manage it due to the fact that I always seem to have way too many clothes sitting in my wardrobe.. However, since taking a little more notice of the clothes that I wear the most and the most regularly, I pretty much already have one. I've started to realise that there's a general pattern in what I love to wear.

The basics.

The timeless, classic style items that will never disappear from the high street. The things that you can wear all year round. The pieces that you can wear with everything and anything, and the ones that you can dress up or down to suit whatever occasion.


And so, I've made a new promise to myself. With the exception of a few items, I'm going to try and only invest in the 'basics'. I'm going to slowly build up a new wardrobe of these items that I know I'll be able to wear for years, and that I won't be throwing away 6 months from now because they're no longer 'in fashion'.

Here are a few of my faves!



S T R I P E S

Where would we be without stripes? The good ol' Breton shirt has been a wardrobe staple for over 150 years when it was introduced as uniform for the navy (yes I have researched the history of the Breton. Don't judge me, okay?), and then into more mainstream fashion when Coco Chanel used the pattern for her nautical collection. It's a style that suits everyone and that anyone can wear. I love the Parisian-esque vibe that a Breton shirt instantly gives off. And to make it even more French, I love wearing a red neckerchief and red lipstick to go with it!


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G O O D  J E A N S

I'm in the fortunate position that I get to literally wear whatever I want to work. Our office is very casual, and so I'm in jeans most days. Going from business dress to casual every day, was a shock to my then only 1 pair of jeans - they got worn out very quickly! Needless to say, I've invested in a few more pairs since then. I have 2 pairs of the black Joni jeans from Topshop (I wear these on days when I have a few meetings, as they're slightly smarter) but you can never underestimate how effortlessly stylish blue jeans can look.



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B O D Y S U I T S

Apart from being an absolute nightmare when you're bursting for a wee, I adore wearing bodysuits. They're comfortable and easy to style and you don't have to worry about coming untucked half way through the day. One of my favourite things about bodysuits is that you can dress them for any occasion. Wear them with your jeans and trainers for a casual look, or pair them with smart black trousers a killer pair of heels and you're ready for any formal event, too. How beautiful is this lacy version below, too? This would look so beaut & elegant for an evening of drinks.


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B U T T O N - D O W N   S H I R T S

Okay, first up. If anyone can teach me how to master the half-tuck, that would be greatly appreciated. It's one of those things that I can just never seem to get right and it always just looks a little silly on me! But anyway, a good button-down shirt is another versatile piece that I have a fair few of. You can literally throw one on with a pair of jeans and run out the door knowing that you're good to go! Similar to the bodysuits, you can rock a pair of trainers for a more preppy look, or grab your favourite heels to go from day-to-night for a smarter, more dressed up look.

I bought a Polo Ralph Lauren pink one from one of their outlet stores a few years ago and oh my, I didn't take it off for about 3 weeks after. I love it!


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What are your favourite 'basic' pieces?

Soph 

Appearing confident at work... when you secretly don't really know what you're doing.

Appearing confident at work... when you secretly don't really know what you're doing.

Now, I'm not saying you should blag your way through your whole career, because I'm 100% certain that this would never work. But, I'm pretty sure that I'm not the only one who's walked into a meeting having no real idea what it's about or what's going on. We've all been there at least once. 

Not really fully understanding something at work can be a little scary and intimidating, and having been thrown in at the deep end more times than I can count during the last 5 years, I've most definitely been in this situation on a few occasions! 


I've had so many little panics in clients bathrooms before meetings because there's been technical things on the agenda that I have no clue what they mean. Or when you start a new job and there's loads of new systems to get used to, people's names to remember and processes that you've never had before. 

You want to appear confident and like you know what you're talking about. You want to impress your boss or the client and show them that you've totally got this and that you're great at what you do. But OMG if I could've had a little more time to have prepared for this, that would've been fab. 

So, here are a few little tricks I've picked up over the last few years, to help give people the impression that you're confident at work.. even when you secretly don't really know what you're doing.



A S K  Q U E S T I O N S.

Asking questions is a really great way to do two things at once in these kind of situations. Not only will it make you look like you're really engaging in the conversation and debate that's going on around you, but guess what? If you ask the right questions, you'll be able to catch up and ~hopefully~ get your head back to where your boss thought it already was an hour ago.

Oh, and it also means that you're not the one that has to do all of the talking. You get to sit, listen, take notes, and maybe fire a follow up question back at most because I don't know about you, but when I'm feeling overwhelmed and nervous, the last thing I want to do is try and be the one who's holding a conversation.


S I T  U P  S T R A I G H T

If you're in a meeting, sit up straight. If you're sat at your desk, sit up straight. If you're meeting someone for the first time, stand up straight. Looking confident can really help you on your way to feeling confident, and kinda like all of the dating tips that get thrown our way, our non-verbal cues can often give away more than what we actually say. 

So, if you're face to face with someone or giving a presentation, remember to maintain eye contact and smile. And if you're sat at your desk on the phone or frantically trying to type an email, push your shoulders back and sit up straight. Getting yourself in the right frame of mind first, can make all the difference. The more you pretend to be confident, the quicker you'll realise you actually are. Fake it 'till you make it and all that, right?


T A K E  F I V E

There's nothing like giving yourself a good ol' pep talk, is there? If I'm feeling particularly stressed or overwhelmed at work, I'll just take myself to the bathroom for five minutes for a little 'time out'. Office's can be really busy places, and it can be really hard to calm your thoughts when there's loads of people and 3 million things going on around you. So trust me when I say, taking yourself to somewhere quiet for a few minutes can be a life saver, sometimes. Collect your thoughts, give yourself a pep talk and go back and smash it.



Soph

How it took just 30 seconds for someone else to put my 'problems' into perspective.

How it took just 30 seconds for someone else to put my 'problems' into perspective.


Okay so picture this; it was 7pm on a Wednesday evening and I was feeling pretty sh*t. I'd spent the last few hours 'arguing' with a very close friend of mine who I care about a lot and I was feeling pretty helpless about our situation. I'd spent 40 minutes locked away in the bathroom because I was so upset. I was tired. I'd been up since 5am and had spent 5 hours on the train that morning, before then doing a whole day at work filled with intense meetings and everything going wrong and well, I was just feeling down and v sorry for myself.

That was until I went for dinner with a friend who lives in London who I hadn't seen in a while. We met each other outside the train station and he was physically shaking. We were meant to grab a coffee first but we instantly realised he probably needed something a little stronger (gin).

You see, this had been his first day as a junior doctor working for our NHS. 

We ended up grabbing a takeaway and cake (the best comfort food!) and heading back to eat at his, where I was greeted by his 3 other housemates, who were all also junior doctors who had just finished their first days in their new hospitals too. 

And while they were all discussing their days with each other, talking about what had happened since they'd left for work that morning and using this time to release their thoughts and feelings about their day, I couldn't help but realise that this had all put my day into perspective. 

One of these girls had had to sit down and tell a lady and her family that they'd found a brain tumour today, and sit there while it slowly sunk in that all of their lives had suddenly changed forever and I'd.... well, I'd sent a few emails?

I mean, obviously I'd done more than that but that's pretty much how it felt in comparison. Even the things going on in my personal life suddenly didn't seem so important anymore and it's only when I hear things like this, that it reminds me to stop getting stressed over the little stuff. It reminds me to stop wasting time on things that don't really matter and it really hits you that life really is too short, sometimes. 

It reminded me that you never quite know what's round the corner and it reminded me to be even more thankful for everything that I'd written about here. It reminded me to be thankful that my job isn't life or death like the possibility of it being just that everyday for these guys, and it reminded me to be thankful that we have people like this working to look after and help every single one of us, every day, no matter what. 

So next time I feel myself getting 'stressed' at work, I'm going to remember that my day could be a lot worse.

Soph

25 very random facts about me.

25 very random facts about me.

It occurred to me the other day that in my 2 1/2 years of blogging, I've never done a 'Get to Know Me' type post, and so this is probably long, long overdue. I actually adore reading these kind of posts from other bloggers, as I find it really interesting to get to know, quite often, a little bit of a different side to people compared to what they normally write about!

So, here are 25 very random facts.


  1. My middle name is actually Rebecca, not Rosie. But 'sophierebecca.com' was already taken so I chose Rosie instead for no particular reason other than it seemed to flow quite well and I liked the name!

  2. Out of the 3 'big' coffee brands, Caffe Nero is my fave, followed by Starbucks and I will only ever have a Costa if there's absolutely no other choice. My friend and I once drove a whole 2 junctions further than we needed to on the motorway in order to stop for a Starbucks services rather than a Costa services. It really is that serious of a matter.

  3. We have a dog back home called Jake. He's a red and white border collie and is certifiably bonkers.

  4. I don't drink. I never have done and I have no plans to start anytime soon.

  5. I am fascinated with aeroplanes. I love learning about how everything works and I get v excited whenever I see one. Air Crash Investigation is absolutely my favourite show and guilty pleasure, but probably explains why I'm actually terrified of flying, despite my love for the planes themselves!

  6. I also love boats. Ever since my family went on our first cruise (once I'd got over the fear of sinking like the Titanic, obvs), I became obsessed with boats too. I used to want to be a Captain of ship when I grew up, until I realised you needed good geography and physics skills... of which I have neither.

  7. Speaking of my Geography skills.. up until the age of 18, I genuinely thought Cumbria was a place in Africa. That was until my old job sent me to a client there and I quickly realised I was way off.

  8. I have the tiniest tattoo of a small cross on my right wrist. No one ever realises it's there as it fits perfectly under my watch.

  9. Yes, I wear my watch on the 'wrong' wrist. 

  10. I'm also left handed.

  11. However, I'm right handed for everything else, including using right handed scissors, and when I used to play golf.

  12. I also used to play cricket and my parents sent me to 'Cricket Camp' one summer when I was about 10. I won 'best bowler' and my prize was a large mens cricket top. Needless to say it didn't fit 10 year old me very well.

  13. I don't like cheese. Except for on pizza.

  14. I was born 4 weeks premature, and I was so tiny that the baby clothes I used to wear now fit on my old dolls.

  15. I trained in ballroom and latin dancing until I was 18. I miss it so much and I'm considering getting back to it when I finally move down to London! And yes, Strictly is my other fave show.

  16. I was so obsessed with High School Musical for about 2 years after it came out, it was very nearly an actual problem. I would watch it every day without fail and I can still recite all of the song and dance routines to you now.

  17. I took Ancient History, Accounting, Maths and Dance at A Level and even my teachers used to comment that I was clearly very confused about my future considering how very random my range of subjects were!

  18. I may have lived out of home for nearly 4 years, but I still text my Mum photo's of clothes from my wardrobe to ask which wash to put them in, as I've still not mastered this adult thing yet.

  19. I started this blog on 18th November 2014, sat in Central Perk in Liverpool, wearing a denim shirt-dress and a red bowler hat, drinking a caramel latte on an orange sofa just like the one they had in the coffee house of the same name in Friends. Is it weird that I remember it so vividly?

  20. I used to hate the name 'Sophie'. When I was about 5 I remember leaving the house with my Dad and giving my Mum strict instructions to have thought of a new name for me by the time I got back! Good job I love it now, isn't it?

  21. I love being by the water and my dream is to end up living by the sea.

  22. I've never travelled further than Turkey, but I absolutely want to change that soon. I want to visit Australia, New Zealand, America, Canada, Dubai... I have a pretty long list.

  23. I'm left & right dyslexic - to the point where I used to have to wear a bobble on one wrist and not the other during my driving lessons, and my instructor would shout 'bobble' and 'no bobble' instead of 'left' and 'right' as otherwise it would take me too long to work out which way to turn.

  24. I love coffee but I can't stand coffee in chocolate. The same with peanuts; I could eat them all day but in chocolate? No thanks.

  25. I've never been to a music gig and I don't have a favourite artist or band. My music taste is very eclectic and seeing live music has just never really bothered me! The theatre on the other hand? I'd never be out of there if I could!

Soph

7 ways to de-stress after a bad day.

7 ways to de-stress after a bad day.

Bad days. We all have them. Those days when everything that could go wrong, does go wrong, and you're left wondering what on earth you did to deserve such a thing. I've kinda got the hang of remembering that it's only one bad day, amongst the many other fabulous ones, however this does mean that I've also got into the habit of going home and getting into bed to prevent any further damage. This is all fine, until I realised that I didn't quite want to be wasting half of my day every time I got stressed.

So, instead of just hiding myself away, I've started to try and actively do positive and productive things to make myself feel better instead. Here are 7 ways to de-stress after a bad day.



G O  F O R  A  W A L K.

Fresh air works wonders, doesn't it? I have to remind myself of this every time as it's so much easier to convince myself that my bed is the best place to be. Which is silly because I know just how much better I feel after anything if I can get out and go for a little walk, listen to music, and be surrounded by other people going about their day instead of being alone in my room and overthinking. This is the worst thing to do, just FYI.


T A K E  A  L O N G  B A T H.

For me, this a long shower at the mo because I don't have a bath in my bathroom. BUT, give me just over a month and I will have a bath again and I cannot tell you how excited I am. Bath's are so relaxing aren't they? Grab your favourite book, light a candle, and relax with all of the bath oils for an hour or so. Even when I did have a bath, I always felt too busy to take the time to run a bath rather than jumping in the shower, so every time I do get the chance to, it always feels so, so relaxing. 


V E N T.

I think this is the one reason that I could never fully live on my own. One of the first things I do if I've had a bad day is tell my poor flatmate everything. It always feels so much better to get things out, and I immediately feel like a weight has been lifted and I can relax a little more. Bottling stress up is never a good idea, as there'll aways be a tipping point when everything just comes out anyway. 

If my flatmate doesn't happen to be in and I don't fancy talking on the phone, I write stuff down instead. Whether it's typing it in a post for my blog or hand-writing it in a little notebook that I keep, writing things out can be just as effective as talking things out.

C L E A N.

It may sound ridiculous, but cleaning calms me. Cleaning and a good clear out will always make me feel better, and at the end of it, everything smells nice and my room is all decluttered and it's great. I find it really hard to relax and un-wind if my room is messy, so I at least always make sure that I tidy up and that I have a clear space. Does this help anyone else, too?


G O  F O R  A  D R I V E.

Sometimes, instead of going for a walk, I'll just take myself off for a drive, particularly if the weather's bad or if it's dark outside. I find there's literally nothing more therapeutic and good for clearing my head than long drives in the dark. I won't drive anywhere in particular, but I'll just take myself off on a route that I know well, and listen to music or an old podcast that I know will calm me a little.


T R E A T  Y O U R S E L F.

Treat yourself to something small but something that you know you'll enjoy. A large coffee instead of a small one, a bar of chocolate after dinner, or even a takeaway for the evening - sometimes it's the little things that can really feel like the biggest luxurious and make us feel that little bit better.


A  B O O K.

I spend a lot of my time scrolling through social media if I'm at home with not much else to do, but sometimes social media can be more stressful than relaxing. So recently, I've made more an effort to ditch my phone and get lost in a good book instead. I also find that reading makes me more tired, so if I can read for a little bit before I go to sleep, I fall asleep so quickly and don't have time to stress about my day either!

How do you de-stress after a bad day?

Soph